We only live once. And we don’t act like it.
I started this blog post because I have no clear idea where I am heading in life and I’m finally starting to be okay with it.
2017 started off being crazy. And not even necessarily in a good way. I put a lot of opportunities I got before school, meaning that… School got left behind, a lot. Completely, perhaps. Whoever saw me running around in the past couple of months stopped me, sincerely looked deep into my eyes, concerned… almost shook me for my shoulders, and said, You know school should be your number one priority!? or, You need to finish school to succeed in life! and Stop living in a dream world, kid!
Though I never said I won’t finish school. Every single opportunity that I took over my school work recently turned out being super successful; I learned, I grew. But I kept worrying and worrying and worrying. Why? Because everybody always tells me what is expected from me to do. Right now, and it’s totally right now! To get that piece of paper that says I can do something. To earn enough money. To be successful. To be happy.
I feel like in a last couple of months a huge part of my time went to waste. To be clear, I’ve worked on quite some video projects, I’ve edited numerous of photographs, I tried getting my ass back to college, I’ve seen some of the most beautiful places in company of some extraordinary people. I even started running agility again. But my thoughts have always just been somewhere in all of those dark places; that’s not good enough. I should have done this. I should have done that, too. And instead of just doing it, I’ve been worrying my mind 24/7. The result? Of all my goals, I have completed… how about, a couple? Almost none. And why? Because every free second I was worrying my mind with what I should have done instead of going and doing it. I was wasting my time overthinking.
And the truth is; it’s okay to get lost. It’s okay to waste a day. A week. A year. If that will help you out with finding out where you stand. I feel like people always create too many limitations. Or right and wrong ways. We literally put labels on everything we do in life. Study hard and you’ll be rich and successful. Side note, who has ever said life goal is to be rich and successful at first place? Who has ever said there’s only happiness in being rich? Why are we teaching children to strive for earning a lot of money and valuing things instead of everything that is priceless ? There’s so many people out there with glorious jobs that fill their pockets day by day. But not a single second spent earning it, fills their souls. You should fill your soul before you fill your pockets.
If it feels wrong, why push it? Because they told you to? We are killing our thoughts by always forcing ourselves into stuff we were told to think or told to do. If you feel like you want to take a gap year and do all the things that make you happy – do. And see where it takes you. It might work out or it might never. But the only line between the two is how much you believe in it and how much of yourself you put into it. Don’t be a slave of the system.
Some time ago we had that lesson in school given by an artist living and working in New York and as we sat down and she started to speak, the first thing she’d say would be Are you guys tired? And the last thing just before we left the classroom, You don’t look tired. You don’t work hard enough. You’ll sleep when you’re dead. And it made me think. I looked at myself months ago. I worked for hours, I worked every free second. You’d find me absolutely and totally awake at 4am working on pictures, video projects or writing blog ideas. Those days are over. I got back the time for my dogs, and friends. And tried to really fit everything and everyone into my schedule. Because as much as I always think work and career is important, people (and dogs) that surround me are way beyond the importance of that. And I get told a lot I should change my priorities sometimes, but everyone that knows me is quite aware of how strong I stick to my values. And as long as I can find time for daily walks, trainings, hikes and roadtrips, I’m willing to work every free second in between.
I messed up, I guess. But I’ve been trying to get my life back together for quite a while now and need to admit it’s slowly becoming a success. It’s okay if you don’t know where you’re going. I don’t totally know where I’m going but that has never stopped me before. You don’t need to know who you are just yet. It’s enough to know who you are not. Just find ONE thing that makes you happy, makes you feel creative, content. Then start doing it. Do you. You can move mountains, kid. Because if anybody ever did it, then you can too. And stop struggling, stop fearing, stop worrying. A head full of fears has no place for dreams.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.
For me going back to school after 10 years was a huge inspiration. It was a lot of work but I got so much energy in return. But I also took more time to live and do the things I love to do instead of following others in the rat race. I love my dogs, my work and my life. And I get a lot of comments about how I live it, but I really don’t care.
I’m sure you will find your way.
And once again, you have the perfect words. Such an inspiration.
True! Dream big and take it easy! I am often sooo distracted, so many dreams, plans, energy and then I realize I am more thinking and wondering about my life than actually living everything that I have in my head. Maybe my problem is that I still need to learn that the happines is now, not tomorrow, yesterday or when I finish school, but now. Yoga is really good for that, I never thought I will be a joga person, but as I am a go go go person, it really helps me to calm down, relax and just be. No pressure. And with the school thing you are totally right! You are brave and you think out of box! Opinions from other people are good for us to think about our life a bit but we can’t loose OUR heads. Once you are happy, nothing else matters!
Good luck for you!
Nice blog :-)
Karolina (Czech ;-))
wow!!! It’s like you could read my mind and write down all the things i am thinking about latley. I started with my studies and i really like it. Meeting some new people and getting some new opportunities. But i will never be the kind of person who thinks getting a job where i can be successfull and earn a lot of money is the perfect way of life. Right now there are so many people around me just living for their studies. Learning the whole day, sitting in front of the computer like it is the most important thing in life. And i know most people would say that you need do this to be successfull…. But a huge part of me just can’t act like this. Sitting inside the university and learning the whole day doesn’t really work for me. I just need time to go outside. To enjoy life with my two amazing dogs. I will definitely continue my study but not like all the others….maybe it will take a litte bit longer but who says that i have to be ready for work at the age of 25 ?! ( will continue in the next comment….otherwise the comment is too long :D)
right know i have the feeling to go outside, to see the whole world to feel the joy of life together with my dogs! Like you said everybody should find something that makes him happy…..for me that ”something” is definitely being together with my two dogs! They make my life complete. Go on adventures together with these two guys is more than priceless. when i lay down in bed at the end of the day, thinking about my day and a smile fills my heart and my face i know it was a good day :D These days will stay in your heart! And of course all beautiful things happend because of my dogs! i hope you know what i mean :D