We only live once. And we don’t act like it.
I started this blog post because I have no clear idea where I am heading in life and I’m finally starting to be okay with it.
2017 started off being crazy. And not even necessarily in a good way. I put a lot of opportunities I got before school, meaning that… School got left behind, a lot. Completely, perhaps. Whoever saw me running around in the past couple of months stopped me, sincerely looked deep into my eyes, concerned… almost shook me for my shoulders, and said, You know school should be your number one priority!? or, You need to finish school to succeed in life! and Stop living in a dream world, kid!
Though I never said I won’t finish school. Every single opportunity that I took over my school work recently turned out being super successful; I learned, I grew. But I kept worrying and worrying and worrying. Why? Because everybody always tells me what is expected from me to do. Right now, and it’s totally right now! To get that piece of paper that says I can do something. To earn enough money. To be successful. To be happy.
I feel like in a last couple of months a huge part of my time went to waste. To be clear, I’ve worked on quite some video projects, I’ve edited numerous of photographs, I tried getting my ass back to college, I’ve seen some of the most beautiful places in company of some extraordinary people. I even started running agility again. But my thoughts have always just been somewhere in all of those dark places; that’s not good enough. I should have done this. I should have done that, too. And instead of just doing it, I’ve been worrying my mind 24/7. The result? Of all my goals, I have completed… how about, a couple? Almost none. And why? Because every free second I was worrying my mind with what I should have done instead of going and doing it. I was wasting my time overthinking.
And the truth is; it’s okay to get lost. It’s okay to waste a day. A week. A year. If that will help you out with finding out where you stand. I feel like people always create too many limitations. Or right and wrong ways. We literally put labels on everything we do in life. Study hard and you’ll be rich and successful. Side note, who has ever said life goal is to be rich and successful at first place? Who has ever said there’s only happiness in being rich? Why are we teaching children to strive for earning a lot of money and valuing things instead of everything that is priceless ? There’s so many people out there with glorious jobs that fill their pockets day by day. But not a single second spent earning it, fills their souls. You should fill your soul before you fill your pockets.
If it feels wrong, why push it? Because they told you to? We are killing our thoughts by always forcing ourselves into stuff we were told to think or told to do. If you feel like you want to take a gap year and do all the things that make you happy – do. And see where it takes you. It might work out or it might never. But the only line between the two is how much you believe in it and how much of yourself you put into it. Don’t be a slave of the system.
Some time ago we had that lesson in school given by an artist living and working in New York and as we sat down and she started to speak, the first thing she’d say would be Are you guys tired? And the last thing just before we left the classroom, You don’t look tired. You don’t work hard enough. You’ll sleep when you’re dead. And it made me think. I looked at myself months ago. I worked for hours, I worked every free second. You’d find me absolutely and totally awake at 4am working on pictures, video projects or writing blog ideas. Those days are over. I got back the time for my dogs, and friends. And tried to really fit everything and everyone into my schedule. Because as much as I always think work and career is important, people (and dogs) that surround me are way beyond the importance of that. And I get told a lot I should change my priorities sometimes, but everyone that knows me is quite aware of how strong I stick to my values. And as long as I can find time for daily walks, trainings, hikes and roadtrips, I’m willing to work every free second in between.
I messed up, I guess. But I’ve been trying to get my life back together for quite a while now and need to admit it’s slowly becoming a success. It’s okay if you don’t know where you’re going. I don’t totally know where I’m going but that has never stopped me before. You don’t need to know who you are just yet. It’s enough to know who you are not. Just find ONE thing that makes you happy, makes you feel creative, content. Then start doing it. Do you. You can move mountains, kid. Because if anybody ever did it, then you can too. And stop struggling, stop fearing, stop worrying. A head full of fears has no place for dreams.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.